Duck and cover: Turn off Windows Auto Update, block Win10 1809 upgrade

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September patches looked good for a while, then we got hit with four big, buggy Win10 cumulative updates. August Windows and Office patches went pretty well in spite of a last-minute rush to fix bugs introduced in earlier patches. July patches, however, left almost every version of Windows looking like a zombie apocalypse.

With its deleted Documents feature and a swelling list of Version 1809 bugs, October patching has so far plumbed new depths, even by Microsoft’s patching standards. On a scale of 1 to 10, we’re sitting at Mariana Trench depths.

And capping all of that — even after yanking the 1809 upgrade —Microsoft hasn’t said a peep about its intentions for this month’s Patch Tuesday. We don’t know if the company intends to go ahead with its announced rollout of Win10 version 1809 upgrades or if it’s still licking its wounds. For that matter, we don’t even know what wounds exist — what triggers the deletion of data on upgraded machines or how to prevent it. All we have are the usual assurances that everything’s copacetic, that Microsoft has the tools to set you right. Yeah, right.

All we know is that the Win10 1809 upgrade has been yanked, and it’ll be reinstated at some point in the future. Whether that future includes Patch Tuesday this month remains to be seen. We don’t know. Nobody’s said.

If you leave Automatic Updates turned off in the aftermath of what we’ve seen in the past week, I salute you. Somebody has to walk around with a “Kick Me” sign stuck on their back.

For the sentient part of the Windows universe, now’s a good time to make sure Automatic Update is turned off. At some point in the future, you’ll need to update, but for now there’s no sense poking the Windows bear.

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